Cole's Pain
by storm the ninja
Summary: Even six months after the incident in Ninjago city, Cole still can't forgive himself for what happened. Will he ever be able to accept the fact that it wasn't his fault...? (MAJOR SPOILERS, One-shot to signal my return to fanfic :3)


**So um... Hey everyone, it's me, Storm the ninja. I know I've been gone a REALLY long time, I don't even know how long... Heh... Anyways, I didn't forget about you guys. Sophomore year is always the worst, and now I'm a junior. I have band, and last year I had theatre, not to mention I was at a new school... I have my own laptop now, so I am going to try REALLY hard to write as often as possible. ^.^ **

**That was my good news, and to summarize, I'M BACK BABY!**

**Bad news time now :C**

**I haven't really touched or read my elemental masters of silver for almost two years, and to be honest even if I read it now I wouldn't remember anything in it, sooo... I'm going to start a new Ninjago story. For those of you who's OC's I used, I am very very sorry I won't be using them anymore, and they can go back to their respected owners. It's kinda depressing because I had BIG plans for this story, and I was almost shocked to see it has gotten over 1000 views... Woe.**

**Anyways I'm going to start my one-shot, kinda to warm everyone up to my return... **

_It's been six months since he died..._

That's all that Cole could think as he sat distantly with Nya in their apartment. The others were out for the day, probably working on rebuilding some random part of the city. **(BTW I DO NOT SHIP THIS JAYXNYA FOREVER) **

"Not like it's their job too..." Cole mutters looking out the small window beside him down at the city. Nya turns and looks at him, her cocoa eyes curious.

"What? What's not who's job?" She asks curiously, causing Cole to jump then look at her with blank hazel eyes. What was he even doing with her... He knew it was pointless, he didn't love her, no matter what that stupid machine told her. How could he love her, she was like his little sister... And she was Jay's, or SHOULD be Jay's...

"Nothing Nya, I'm gonna go for a walk." He stands and heads to get his jacket. He had hung up his ninja suit after Zane's memorial. They couldn't even have his funeral... All they had found was his mask... What he wore to cover up the part of his face that had broken off during the battle with the Great Devourer...

_I'm sorry Zane... I let you down... I should have stopped you... It was to much... Even for you... _He tried his hardest to cover his wet eyes as he put on his jacket and unplugged his phone, but Nya noticed anyways, or if she did she didn't say anything. Nya of all people understood how much pain he was in... With the death of his best friend...

Cole shakes his head and walks out, heading downstairs and looking around. It was cold out, snowy too, and Cole had never been one for the snow, especially now... When all the snow was... Was a cruel reminder of his fellow ice ninja.

"I remember on that day... It snowed... As if you were telling us you were still watching... Are you Zane?" He looks at the sky and tears start to stream down his face. "Why did you do it you idiot... Why? WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME!?"

Cole found himself running now, as fast as he could, but he didn't stop, he couldn't... Even now, without his training, Cole was in top physical condition. He found running was a good way to get out the anger and frustration of Zane's death. _It could have been prevented... _He stops in front of Zane's statue, and he looks up sadness in his hazel eyes.

"You know, I think you were my reason Zane, the only reason I stayed a ninja. You understood me, never talked down to me. I don't know if that was in your system, but for me, it meant everything." He looks away and wipes his eyes. How wimpy, crying like this in front of a statue...

"You know... They want to rebuild you, they're working on it right now, but I think even if they succeed... It won't be you, not the Zane I know. I was once told you can't recreate perfection, and that's what you were. I mean sure you had some glitches, everyone does, but it's the way... You... You composed yourself that made you perfect. No regrets right? That's what you always told me when I had a tough decision, to never regret my choices.

But I do regret the one choice I made that cost you your life... I shouldn't have run away, I was the leader, my job was to give up my life for my comrades, and I should have done that for you." He slams his fist into the side of the statue and glares at the ground.

"But I RAN, I RAN Zane... I didn't save you, I wasn't a hero, I let you DIE."

_How can I forgive myself...? How could YOU forgive me...?_

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Later he walks into the local pizza joint, calmer now that he had gotten it all out. He was supposed to meet Kai and Jay here, to just, enjoy them. _Even if I don't have Zane, I still have these two goofballs. _He smiles fondly as he sees them waving goofily at them and he laughs softly as he goes to sit with them.

"Thank goodness you're here! Our pizza was getting cold!" Kai says laughing as he pats Cole's back and Jay nods.

"Also stale, I don't like stale pizza." He says getting a piece and hungrily biting into it. Cole roll his eyes as he gets his own piece.

"You two didn't have to wait for me ya know." He says laughing as he bites into his pizza. Kai huffs defiantly and gets a piece of his own.

"Of course we did! We weren't gonna just eat without you Cole, I mean YOU were the one who suggested we have these pizza dates." He explains and Jay nods in agreement, his electric blue eyes getting a bit distant.

"Yeah it's a nice break from it all, rebuilding the city and all." He mumbles and Kai nods in agreement.

_Along with the fact that one of our best friends is now dead... _That thought hung in the air, silencing them for a bit.

"Ya know Cole, it wasn't your fault." Kai says startling Cole out of his thoughts. He turns and looks at Kai, who had set his pizza down and was now looking at Cole with calm amber eyes. "It's not your fault Zane is dead, it's no ones fault, but Zane's."

"How... How can you say that...?" Cole asks unhappily, refusing the accept the fact that it WAS Zane's own fault. Even if he was trying to save them all, there were other ways that could have prevented the death of their beloved ice ninja.

"You know it's true Cole... And until you accept it, you'll never forgive yourself for something you _didn't even do_." That statement shocked Cole, and without realizing it tears were streaming down his face.

"I-I" He felt an arm wrap around him, pulling him close and he looks up to see Sensei Wu, his wise golden eyes sad and understanding. It didn't even matter where he came from, Cole just stands and hugs his frail body close.

"I know it hurts Cole, and I can't say I understand what pain you are feeling, because no one but you feels your pain... But you need to understand Kai and Jay are correct. It was NOT your fault..."

_He's right Cole... It wasn't your fault... The fault was mine... Please forgive yourself, there is nothing you did wrong..._

Cole smiles sadly and nods. "Thank you..." He murmurs as an odd peace settles over him.

"Thank you Zane."

. . . . .

**So that was my one-shot to bring me back, hope you liked it and please don't cry. T^T I did... **

**GLAD TO BE BACK  
>Sincerely,<strong>

**Storm the ninja**


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